To conclude this night/morning of writing, I say ‘Goodbye’. I’ve got the email addresses of the people here I’ll be keeping in contact with and they have mine*.
In short, one of the unhealthy habits I mentioned in my earlier post on change (The Drugs Don’t Work) was writing. I find it a struggle and yet at the same time, its a forced distraction. For years, I did it because it was cathartic; a release and a way to sort out the junk clogging up my mind. When it came to poetry and rhyme, there was a natural drive and unstoppable urge to explain myself creatively. But these days, instead of acting upon a flow I stare at a screen for hours before squeezing out half a paragraph. Writing isn’t a joy anymore. It’s not cathartic and instead it leaves me with a sense of “What’s the point?”
In order to write anything worth the eyes of another, I need to be inspired and right now, my life has little in it that inspires me. When I finding myself writing, more often than not it’s angry; bitter and far from something I want to remember. It’s opinions and views, and my ground-up negativity from what surrounds me. And I’m fed-up of writing about it- fed up of writing about my life and my limited feelings.
I’ve deleted my Twitter account and won’t be back there. It’s another waste of time that offers little more than a distraction from what’s rolling around in my head. When I made the choice to change, I also made the choice to get rid of the factors holding me back- spending ridiculous amounts of time reading Tommy Robinson argue with Piers Morgan is not a productive use of my time on this planet. And neither is staring at a computer, hoping that they next words I write will be profound enough to change my life....
So Thanks for being there, reading and challenging me and Ta Ta for now (but if Ben has his way- Ta Ta forever! Have fun. )
*Read the tags.